Smile; make them think you’re happy
Lie and say that things are fine
And hide that empty longing that you feel
Don’t ever show it, just keep your heart concealed
Why are the days so lonely?
I wonder where, where can a heart go free?
And who will dry the tears that no one sees?
There must be someone to share your silent dreams
Caught like a leaf in the wind
Looking for a friend, where can you turn?
⃰⃰⃰⃰ ⃰ ⃰ ⃰
It was a wonderful sunny day; the weather was bright, with soft, white, fluffy clouds that lazily flirt across the clear blue sky. A gentle breeze filtered through the tree branches and leaves. The sun was blazing hot and heating up the atmosphere, while the ocean lay calm and inviting reflecting the beauty of the blue sky above.
It was such a peaceful and warm Friday afternoon. The sounds of the birds singing and the ocean waves crashing against the dock and sea boulders in the distance was quite calming to her nerves and tortured soul.
Steffie was sitting in the Botanical Gardens thinking about her life and the present situation in which she found herself. She looked about the gardens in order to clear her mind of painful thoughts.
The Botanical Gardens, was a large park with various big trees and lush green grass that stretched across from one point to the other. There were a few flowers along the park, and hedges cut in a way that made it mesmerising.
The Gardens were quite peaceful with children’s laughter while playing, and a few people sitting or walking around. Occasionally, a vehicle diving through the Gardens spoiled the tranquillity.
How could I have been so dense? She asked herself repeatedly.
Steffie had met Jake six months ago, but knew him for about two years before. He had come to her like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, pretending to be good, caring and very charming.
She had been captivated by his charm, he was different from the men she dated before and been hurt by. Boy was she dense to have given in to his pleading voice. Now she could not believe how stupid she had been to fall for such a charmer.
Steffie sighed and leaned back into the wooden bench.
What am I going to do now? Why did this have to happen to me, now especially? She asked her self again. She looked at her watch then sighed heavily. She had been sitting in the park for an hour now, since she had finished the training course for the day.
The course, in which she was taking part in, was an Entrepreneurship course for youths and adults. Over the past three weeks, she had learned a lot about running and managing a business, and she hoped that she would be able to apply those skills to her own business soon.
A lot was going on in her life but she refused to let it deter her from making the best of the situation she was in and a future for herself. Steffie stood up and walked across the park roads towards the gate in which she had entered.
She dug around in her bag for her phone, which was ringing and swiped the answer button across the screen to answer the call.
“Hi, Mom.” she said into the phone.
“Where are you?” her mom asked, sounding worried.
“I’m making my way towards the bus stop now, why?” she asked.
“Oh, nothing was just a bit worried.” Her mom said with relief in her voice.
Steffie smiled. She loved her Mom, who did not hesitate to check up on her ever so often. They had that kind of relationship.
“See you in a while, Mom”
She hung up and continued on her way. As she reached the bus stop, she was thankful that she got a bus leaving on time and did not have to sit and wait. She dug around in the bag for her earphones, connected them to her phone & inserted the ear buds into her ears and let the soothing music surround her.
It was the weekend and she was planning to enjoy it with no mishaps and drama. Just one more week of training and then it would be back to her normal boring life. Only it was no longer normal.
Two months ago she’d decided to take a ‘leap of faith’ and let Jake prove to her that not all men were the same – lying, cheating, disgraceful bastards – but yet he’d only prove to her that he was just the same.
He did not just lie to her, but had hurt her mentally and although she did not love him, he had hurt her emotionally. Her mom was right about him, she admitted. He was an SOB.
Seems like every time she tried to be happy something always went wrong. She almost felt like giving up all together on life, yet again. That night when she got home, she greeted her parents, and then headed off to her room.
She undressed then walked over to the mirror, which was hanging on her door and just looked herself from head to toe. You could not tell any difference in her except for the slight glow on her face. She took a warm shower and a few minutes later, she got out feeling refreshed, and put on her shorts and tank top and went over to the bed.
Lying on her bed, thoughts and emotions over-whelmed her and she ended up crying herself to sleep as she always did. She was experiencing slight back pains and fatigue so was thankful every night for her soft bed.
‘When we hurt each/another
With our words,
With our actions,
On the other hand, even with our thoughts,
It causes a wound.
Some wounds are seen,
Some are invincible,
Some wounds heal and some leaves scars.
Moreover, some wounds which are constantly inflicted or opened again and again….
May never heal.’
(p.s. – I would be very grateful for any comments or suggestions as to how this sounds. Thanks in Advance!)